The number one reason most people don't chase their dreams.


I spend a lot of time talking to entrepreneurs, wanna-be entrepreneurs, dreamers and doers. My conversations are markedly different between the dreamers and the doers.

This is what distinguishes those who DO from those who DON’T.

Those who do are managing their minds. They’re aware that things will be scary and uncertain and possible even impossible. Our conversations are about strategy and about how we can create a self-care plan so that they’re able to dare greatly.

They are scared, yet they don’t use that as a reason to not go forward.

The number one reason people don’t chase their big goals?

They’re scared of how they will feel.

My conversations with dreamers are super low energy. They’re all around WHY they can’t do what they want to do, as they though don’t control their own lives. They are at the mercy of their feelings and their circumstances.

My conversations with the doers, though? They are exhilarated and terrified but they know they CAN change their lives, they’re just not sure how.

If you’re someone who wants to change their life or do something big or go from super-low energy to high-energy, there’s hope. You just need to change your thoughts.

Over here in Life + Biz Coaching Land for Female Founders (that’s where you’ve landed), we over-achievers spend a good deal of time understanding the thoughts that get in our way of success and greatness. We know that shit will be hard. We know that we will never have all of what we need to do what we want to do. Time, money, expertise are all things we’ll be lacking but we just know that’s part of the game. In fact, it’s one thing that we get excited to figure out. Because it means we’ll get to change our worlds, our lives. It’s all about HOW for us.


So, how can you go from a dreamer to a doer? From having a hobbyjob to being the CEO or head of your own business? From someone who’s working a job they hate to doing your own thing?

You’ve got to manage your mind.

What does that actually mean though? What it means is that our feelings (and then subsequently our actions or inaction) are determined by our mind, NOT by our circumstances (money, time, support, expertise, etc). The good news is that they have nothing to do with us chasing our dreams.

But we’re still blaming them like they do.

Here’s why that’s total bullshit and why it’s not helpful, either.

If we blame circumstances for our feelings (and then our life decisions), we don’t get to do anything about that. We have no agency to change. We have no hope to feel better.

Our own thoughts cause our own feelings.

SO here are 3 ways to begin managing your mind so that you can make big change happen:

  1. Don’t think about why you CAN’T make it happen, all the things standing in your way as though they are immovable. Make a list of those things and then find a way to get them. Need more time to think? Make it. Need money? Find it. And maybe you DON’T need more time or money. Because that’s a thought, not a circumstance.

  2. Realize that how you’re thinking is making it possible or impossible to reach your dreams. That’s the truth. The only thing standing in your way is your thinking.

  3. Write down all your thoughts and connect them to your feelings. Your feelings are directly caused by your thoughts. So if you’re feeling depressed or stuck, it’s because of what you’re thinking. When you notice you’re feeling that way, stop for a moment and write down the thoughts that are going through your mind. If they’re not helping you, why hold on to them?

I coach bosses + startups, people who want to reach higher, dig deeper and change their lives. Your first session is always free. So give me a buzz!

Stephanie Sheldon