How to love your job, even if you hate it.

artwork by Folk + Flora Design Co.

artwork by Folk + Flora Design Co.

I’m going to be real with you.

I have at times hated the job that I created for myself. Yes, my 6-figure, super-successful, make-my-own-schedule, spend every day doing what I want job.

Because I wasn’t managing my mind. I was not being active and involved

I know some of you hate your jobs. So much. You hate your coworkers and you hate the fact that you can’t work from home and you hate that you can’t listen to music or that no one respects you.

I get it.

But this is the thing. Why does it make sense for YOU to be miserable?

It might be time to break up with your job, but you don’t need to be an asshole about it.

It’s not your job’s job to make you happy. And believe it or not, you CAN change your relationship. In fact, with my clients I always recommend that they Love It Before They Leave It- whether that’s a job or a relationship or a house or a city or any other circumstance they blame for their unhappiness.

Sure you might want to do something different.

Well, then why are you in this situation if you want something different? Probably because you’re too scared to leave. Probably because you’re confused as to where to start. Probably because you don’t believe you have a choice.

I believe that you have to start there if you want to love your job and still leave it.

If you’re scared, you need to realize that fear will probably not go away unless you tell it to. Unless you tell it that it’s worth the risk to follow your heart. To do what you know you want to truly do.

If you’re confused, you need to realize that’s a choice. That’s a thought. That’s not a circumstance. Ways to get un-confused are:

Scan the world for what moves you. Are you ‘jealous’ of someone? It’s probably an indication that you like something that you’re not allowing yourself to do.

Start a pinterest board with your dream job / dream life / dream city / dream whatever.

Decide what it would take (financially + time-wise) to change careers.

If you’re sure that you have no agency to change your life (this was me last year) then you’re truly approaching it from a victim mentality that will never let you be happier. You CAN always change how you feel, by changing how you think. You CAN usually change your circumstances if you really want, but understand it’s not those circumstances that cause your feelings. I have the same job as last year, I have the same ‘problems’ as last year and I think radically differently about them. Where I once believed that I was against my team, I now feel like we’re in it together. Where I once believed that I had to close my business to do what I REALLY wanted to do, I believe I can do exactly what I want to do from right here in this very place. Where I once believed my business would never make enough money to do x, y and z, I now know that we’ll make $1,000,000 this year.

If you really want to leave something, try loving it first. Trust me, if you’re approaching your life from love you will be able to change it much easier. You will be able to think creatively. You will treat people in your life well. You will treat yourself well.

List all the reasons it DOES make your life better. It might be hard at first. But if your job gives you stability, be grateful for it. If your job teaches you don’t like what you’re doing, thank it. If your job shows you who you don’t want to be, note that and think about who you DO want to be.

And you can still break up with your job. Lovingly. You can be in a place you don’t love, while feeling love. While feeling certain it’s not for you. And you’ll then have more agency to make changes.

You can choose to leave. Just like you choose to stay. That feels a hell of a lot better than hate or anger or confusion.